She wanted to party but now she wants to cry all over my new jeans because she regrets dumping her flaky boyfriend

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight will be a long one.

lounging about before going to that party tonight I hope I don’t have to babysit drunk people again

lounging about before going to that party tonight I hope I don’t have to babysit drunk people again

In a few more months I will have fully mastered my pokerface and painfully cheerful facade and it’s too late to save me already I am now an emotionless lump of flesh 

mylifeasaweapon:

ask-irl-mikasa-ackerman:

mylifeasaweapon:

ask-irl-mikasa-ackerman you’re the best report back with an answer! And we mean a live, attached human penis. Also does it change if the penis is bleeding???

Rika I’m very concerned about you right now

Shhhhhh you love me

mylifeasaweapon:

ask-irl-mikasa-ackerman you’re the best report back with an answer! And we mean a live, attached human penis. Also does it change if the penis is bleeding???

Rika I’m very concerned about you right now

You look like a top-model. How do you do that?! Do you eat freshly harvested children's hearts?

No, just the souls of young children

image

but honestly some of the people I follow on here are so much more like model material their beauty blinds me uwaaaaaaau

I’m chilling in my car waiting for someone with my laptop

I just finished volunteering at the hospital the patients are so lovely and nice to me it’s great 

mylifeasaweapon:

Day zero yaaaaay, find me!!!

mylifeasaweapon:

ask-irl-mikasa-ackerman:

ask-irl-mikasa-ackerman:

And here we witness actual trash in its natural habitat

image

Update:

Still trash

Not fair nope, too attractive to live

Super Sugoi Eyebrow Trash Rika Senpai San,

have you looked in the mirror lately you attractive piece of trash don’t make me fly over to ‘Murica and kick your knees

My friends call me the ice queen but I feel my heart doing these weird palpitations and I haven’t had this feeling since 8th grade and it’s gross I need someone to sock me in the jaw and beat some sense into me quick

v0nvamp I’m pretty sure my uni tips will end up being counterproductive and you’ll hate me for it

Uni/College Tips

I’m thinking of actually recording myself talking (like a video) about my first year and tips for how not to gain weight, how to study, budgeting, etc

But I’m camera shy and my voice as you all know is so stupid so just give me a few days to decide whether or not I should.

You should post pictures of yourself more often, you are quite good-looking!
Anonymous

You need to understand that by posting a limited amount of selfies I am saving the planet from mass destruction

I’m actually a really prickly person 

I never cuddle or actively move to hug someone and I only let those who I feel comfortable around  hug me.

The only time I ever allow people to affectionately touch me is probably when I’m 12 tequila shots down the line because I literally become a human beanie bag and people just fall over me

And here we witness actual trash in its natural habitat